Some thinklings about fan-fiction and ice-cream

Hey, friends,

So, the past couple of months have been kind of a mixed bag for me. A bit like a cardiotocograph - lot of ups and downs. On the whole, things are pretty good, even though there's a bit of a constant feeling that I'm walking on one of those glass floors like they have at the top of the CN tower, and I'm just watching my every footstep and waiting to hear a crack.

I hope to be less cryptic soon, but for now, that's as much as I can say.

Where does this 'non-reassuring trace' leave me in terms of writing? Well, I completed another chapter this week and have taken a pretty big chunk out of the next one. Chapter 18 now, and probably more than 2/3rds of the way to the end. (Almost unbelievably I just checked the exact word could after making that rough prediction, and the word count is sitting at 66,669. With a rough goal of 100k final word count, that is pretty much bang on where I was hoping to be. Nice.)

No word on The Scribes yet, still. I've been making a little note of a few editors i'd like us to approach next. I haven't got much hope left for this first round of submissions, despite having only heard back from a dismal few - Twitter leads me to believe this is the new normal for the publishing industry, which is mighty depressing, but it isnt about to change. All I can do - literally all - is keep writing, Write another book. And so it goes.

I did listen recently to a podcast wherein fanfiction was being discussed, and its pretty well documented how common it is for young writers (young = inexperienced, not young = age) and even established ones to experiment with the craft through using the existing worlds of their favourite pop culture sandboxes to tell new and exciting stories. For me, it went not much further than a brief fling, writing a screenplay for Sam Raimi's unreleased Spider-man 4 and posting it to the now-defunct message boards of IMDB, chapter by chapter. (I don't know whether it still exists anywhere, but I'd love to read it again - shortly before spontaneously combusting thanks to the overwhelming cringe.) But there are some who have really run the gauntlet with it, writing, in some cases, hundreds of thousands of words of content based on characters and worlds not originally created by them. Personally, I can't imagine doing that under any circumstances, because I wouldn't be willing to put that much time and effort into something I'm not then able to actually do something with (like put it on a shelf and sell it, ultimately).

It did get me thinking, though. To what degree can fan-fiction still remain the harmless hobby of practicing writers, and when - how many tens of thousands of words in - does it infringe on the original author's rights? If I got tired of waiting for the long-awaited final installment(s) of a hugely popular fantasy series (ahem.) and just decided to write myself an ending, presumably that would be fine. It wouldn't be anywhere near as good as the author would have done it, but I can write well, and I'd tie up all the loose ends that I felt were important to satisfactorily conclude the story (at least in my mind). But what if I then shared my work with others (for free, not charging). Would that be unethical? Depends. Illegal? Might be, I have no idea. I'm genuinely asking. I couldn't just write an eighth Harry Potter novel and start trying to flog digital copies of it on Amazon for £12.99RRP, but what about publishing a chapter a week on my blog, which is completely free to access, or on another open sourced site to which I wouldn't see, or receive any advantages from, any of the traffic coming to a site I own.

Disclaimer: I'm not going to write that book, or any other authors books. I'm far too busy with my own. I'm just musing on what the implications and restrictions would be for anyone who did.

Anyway, that's enough soliloquizing on fan-fiction for me for one day. Love to hear your thoughts, as long as they're measured, considerate, curious and kind.

Also, apropos of nothing (well actually because my wife is binge-watching Below Deck season 458 and I have nothing better to do) I'm going to list my favourite ice-cream scoops ever. If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, it would be ice-cream, so I consider myself something of a sommelier of the stuff. In no particular order, here goes.

1 &2: Okay, this one is torturously unfair because the restaurant in question no longer supplies it. I'll break that bad news right off the bat. In Edinburgh, there is a chain of Italian restaurants called Vittoria's, and at one point, they sold not one, but two of the best ice cream flavours I've ever had from a little hatch that opened out onto George IV Bridge. Those flavours were Amaretto (the sweet, smooth Italian liquer, not to be confused with amaretti biscuit) and Grape. Grape freaking ice cream. Where else in the UK serves grape flavour ice cream? With tiny pieces of grape through it? Grape flavour *stuff* seems pretty prevalent in the US and Canada, based on my limited experience - but not so in Old Blighty. It was exquisite. Not cloyingly sweet, perfectly creamy, enough character not to just taste like vanilla with bits in. I'm a sucker for unusual, unorthodox, off-the-wall flavours when it comes to ice cream (an honourable mention to Jannetta's in St. Andrews who did a Balsamic Strawberry and Basil scoop once upon a time) and thought nothing of ordering a mixed tub with the amaretto and grape smashed up against one another and dipping back and forth between the two at liberty. What a time it was.

3: Again in Edinburgh, Mary's Milk Bar on the Grassmarket has become something of a rare thing; a major tourist attraction and also beloved local hotspot. They have a really eclectic mix of inspired, unusual flavours that seem to rotate daily, freshly made each morning, and always feature lots of local ingredients. (A quick look on their Instagram tells me some of their latest creations include Lime Leaf, Lychee and Ginger sorbet, Bergamot and Fresh Figs, Black Sesame, and Pecan Coffee Liquer.) But the one that first sold me on this place was their Peppermint White Chocolate. Mint-choc was nearly always my go-to scoop until I cut chocolate out (along with coffee in an attempt to tackle frequent headaches/migraines) and this was a cool twist on that.

4: Next is one from Belfast - Al Gelato has become a firm favourite of my wife and I, and it all began with their Kinder Bueno flavour. Decadently sweet and slightly hazelnutty, it's lovely. (Another honourable mention has to go to their Black Forest/Cherry flavour which, about 8 times out of 10 i might actually give the edge to. Depending on the day.)

5: Another frustrating one for anyone not living in Italy, but The Cheap Lemon Gelato They Serve Almost Everywhere. It's hard to describe how much I loved this scoop. I used to visit Italy quite often as my parents had an apartment there, and I wouldn't like to think how much of my holiday money wound up going to these run-of-the-mill Italian gelato peddlers. Lemon ice cream - and in particular, lemon sorbets - in this country just do not cut it. They're too sharp, too zesty, not creamy enough, or taste of that gross, artificial, bathroom-cleaner lemon. Awful. The Italians have it figured out.

Alright, that's enough of that for now. My recommendation this week is - and I know I'm miles behind the trend on awesome stuff but I just do not care because it's so good - TED LASSO. My latest favourite tv show, it had made a little place in my heart by the end of the first episode and I love it so much. Funny, heartwarming, uplifting, real-talk, cheaper than therapy, positive depictions of platonic friendships of all sorts.